Cell Block Tango!
by Tona-Babino
Summary: Its all about the lovely ladies, Narcissa and Tonks who kill the lovers that crossed them and alas Snape must force them to confess! Peices of lyrics from the song Cell Block Tango from the musical Chicago, in the style of Harry Potter! AU!


**Disclaimer: I own nothing of this story, even the lyrics are not mine, or idea. But the adaptation of it is, see A/N for more info.

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**A/N: this fic was started while I was listening to _Cell block tango_ from the hit musical _Chicago_, not all the lyrics are used, however I adapted them to my story, also some characters do die, and most of the rest are OOC, so be prepared, it's a sick story!

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**Cell Block Tango!**

Severus Snape was a tall man, thin and all in black, he preferred to be a shadow on the wall. His black oily hair fell over his eyes and to his shoulders. He also was a man of two sides you could say; he worked as a death eater for the dark, evil wizard Voldemort and also as a teacher and spy for the good, yet insane wizard Albus Dumbledore.

And now he had to take on _another_ role.

"Ahhh, Severus, I ask a favour of you, please." Albus said to him on a crisp Tuesday morning.

"Yes, headmaster?" Snape replied.

"I need you to spy, once again…but on someone in our own fold." Dumbledore said grimly. Snape stared…_did he mean_…Snape thought,"I don't understand, sir does this have anything to do with the death of Remus Lupin?" Snape asked. Dumbledore nodded, "Yes, you need to speak-without letting her know- to Nymphadora Tonks." He said softly. "Remus's girlfriend!" Snape gasped.

"Will you?"

Snape took a deep breath…_like I have a bloody choice_… Snape thought,

"Yes sir, I will."

"Good, good thank you Severus."

Later that Tuesday night, during a death eater meeting Severus found himself being called to see the dark lord alone.

"Yes milord?" He asked kneeling before the darkest wizard of the age.

Voldemort's red eyes glinted in the shadows he stood in. "Severus," He hissed, "I ask of you to become close to Narcissa Malfoy." Snape gulped…_another woman to follow for the same reasons…_"Why…why so sir, may I ask?" Voldemort's thin lips formed a tight straight line, "You know of the death of her husband?" "My dear friend, Lucius Malfoy!" Snape stuttered, "My faithful and loyal follower." Voldemort cut in. Snape flinched. Voldemort gave a twisted smile, "Indeed, will you?" Snape thought for a moment…_this is even worse then Dumbledore…_

"Yes milord."

"Good, leave now, but do not-"

"Let her know?"

"Yes!" Voldemort glared down upon Snape, who took that as his cue to leave.

Severus Snape was worried now, he had to become close to two separate and different women.

_But then again, they are related, maybe not as different as one would think…_he thought while waiting for his first task.

"Snape? What the hell do you want?" Tonks-as she preferred to be called- grumbled walking over to him. Tonks was able to change her appearance and today she chose to have mousy purple hair and vibrant blue eyes, she was her normal short height and a flat, figureless body. "Care to take a walk?" he asked, she looked momentarily stunned, then nodded. They began to walk in a darkened park. "How are you holding up?" he asked her. "After what happened to Lupin? Terrible utterly terrible!" she shook her head as she spoke. Snape nodded, "I know it must be hard, but we are there for you-" "Yeah right!" she snorted, "Dumbledore glaring at me and Molly Weasley biting my head off over everything!" "Well, I'm here for you." Snape cut her off. She stopped speaking and stared at him intensely for a moment…then,

"Fine with me, wanna get an ice cream?"

It was after they had their ice cream, Snape had walked her back to her flat, and she had then invited him inside.

"I don't know why I all of a sudden trust you." Tonks said all of a sudden while placing their cloaks on hooks, "maybe it's because you know what its like…" she said admittedly. "What ever do you mean?" Snape asked sharply. "Well, it's just that everyone hates you, but you still keep on with your life, not seeming to care, and…yeah…" she trailed off looking slightly confused.

Snape sighed and sat down upon a couch.

"I've always lived this life, my father hated me and my mother was a mess, not to mention I was never the popular type you could say." He grimaced. Tonks nodded.

"Yeah I can see how that would take its toll, but it hasn't on you!"

Snape gave a hollow laugh, "Hell no! It gets harder everyday, sometimes I wish I would just be caught and killed to get away from it all!" "No way!" Tonks gasped. Snape smiled bitterly.

They now each had a coffee, and Snape thought it would be wise to turn the conversation to his advantage.

"How did he die?" he asked her quietly, her eyes flashed at first but then she slumped forward, "It was awful really." She said. "How?" he prodded her. Finally she began her tale.

"Lupin and me hit it off right away, we hung out all the time, I figured as he told me so as well that he was single." Tonks said.

"_He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame,_

_If you'd a been there, if you had seen it, I bet'cha you would have done the same!"_

"Me and Remus hung out, started a nice little relationship, he would change into his werewolf form every full moon, and I would fix him his potion, you provided so nicely." Snape nodded. She smiled bitterly.

"Then I found out, single, **HA**! Single my ass! Not only was he taken, oh no,he had several girlfriends, from when he went out to recruit more werewolves on our side." Snape gasped, Remus, a player! Tonks however didn't seem to notice him and continued her story, "Anyways, one night he had to take his potion,"

At this point she was pacing back and forth, she continued, "I fixed him his potion…"

"_And then he used, and he abused it! It was a murder but not a crime!"_

"Well, some guys just cant hold their arsenic!" Tonks cackled. Snape was shocked. She killed him! "Umm…" he started to say, then a pain shot through his arm.

"OUCH!" he cried, Tonks looked keenly at him, "The mark of you-know-who?" she asked him, he nodded and excused himself, and he knew what this was…

_Narcissa's turn now…._ He thought miserably.

Snape rushed to the side of Voldemort, who in turn told him to see to the newly widowed lady Malfoy.

"Yes sir!" Snape said and flooed to the mansion of Narcissa.

"Hello Severus how are you?" the elegant woman asked. She had a curvy thin figure, with long straight blonde hair, and sparkling blue eyes. Her lips seem to always form a sneer, like something that stunk was under her nose; her voice was soft and poetic.

"Not as fine as you look!" he muttered, she gave a cruel laugh, "Severus do not butter me!" she said, "I will not be fooled!" "Of course." He bowed and took her hand to his lips, "Are you coping well?" he asked.

She motioned for him to sit at a small table with a chess set on it.

"Care to play?" she asked him, he nodded. They began to play, "How did he pass away, the dark lord mentioned something to do with Bellatrix, didn't she disappear?" Narcissa glared, her voice became hard, "Indeed, my dear _sister_ Bella took advantage of my dear Lucius!" she wailed the final words.

"Wait, did she kill him?" Snape asked confused…_too many murders and women being pissed off for one night…_ he thought as Narcissa then began _her _version of the death.

"_He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame,_

_If you'd a been there, if you had seen it, I bet'cha you would have done the same!_

"Me and my sister would be with Lucius often drinking and playing chess," she said and as she continued her voice went higher and faster. "We would go out too and put spells on muggles torturing them, when we came in one night, I went out to get more ice for our drinks." Snape waited for her to catch her breath.

"When I came in I found them working on a spell, doing the **SPREAD EAGLE!"** she said viciously.

Snape felt worn out now, but he could hardly believe what would be coming next.

"Well I was in such a state of shock, I had no idea, I blacked out. It wasn't until I was washing their blood of my hands I even knew they were dead!" she finished dramatically.

Snape sighed, things were going to get complicated he knew it.

"You know I have to tell the dark lord." He stated, she stood and pulled out her wand, "No…" she whispered, but he was much faster and struck her with a stunning spell. "One down." He said sadly and flooed himself and the knocked-out Narcissa to the dark lord. Afterwards he went straight to Albus Dumbledore.

"Thank you Severus, I am surprised also about the deaths of Bellatrix and Lucius, did they even know of Bellatrix's murder?" he asked, Snape shook his head no. "Well now that you have proven these claims and found out the truths I say you need a good deserved rest." Albus said and Snape left for his room.

As he clambered down the stairs the words of the murderous women flew through his mind, the similarities between the aunt and cousin, how odd.

"_If you'd been there, if you had heard it, I bet'cha you would have done the same!_

_I didn't do it, but if I done it, how could you tell me that I was wrong!"

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**A/N: I know, I know...I didnt use ALL the lyrics from _Cell Block Tango_, but hey, these ones jumped out at me and I went with it...but if you do want some more, I have planned the other lyrics for another chapter, except with Harry instead of Snape...tell me what you think, review!**

-_ScienceGeek101_

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